Last Update on The Boy

[azraelz_angel]

So, avamclean baby, was right and he called three days later. Apparently that rule works in Florida and Maryland - who'd have thunk it? So he called yesterday and we talked. He said that he wanted to get together and meet today (Saturday) and wanted me to get think up something to do.

So, I agreed, said I'd be thrilled to get together and was thrilled he called, whatever. And I was thinking up all the dorky-mcdorky things we could do (i.e. bowling, or Lights on the Bay) and I'm waiting for him to call me after he gets back from hunting.

So, at 11:46 this morning, I get a text message that reads:

I had a great time on Tuesday. Something came up. Dont want to lead you on. Would be glad to hang out as friends anytime.

I sat there, stunned, for a moment or two. And yeah, it sucks that he doesn't want to hang out and see each other more. And yeah, it sucks that I have absolutely no idea what the hell happened between 5 p.m. yesterday when things were great and 11:46 a.m. this morning. But I will confess the thing that really sucked - and I do mean really - is that HE ENDED IT OVER A FUCKING TEXT MESSAGE. /rant *clears throat*

Better now, I swear.

Yeah, so now I have the distinct honor of being one of those poor fucks, that I used to laugh about, that got dumped over a text message. WTF?

And I sent him the following text message back:

A phone call for this would have been nice. Im sorry things didnt work out.

Yes, I could and probably should have been not so nice. But it was only date we had been on. And yeah, we were planning another date that evening, but one date....

And honestly, the boy and this dumb ass situation, is exactly the reason that I hate dating. I always get fucked over.

So, I'm deleting his number out of my phone. I'm going to delete the call records, the text message and the reply. And I'm going to send Molly, the wonderful girl that hooked us up, a short little email. And I'm not going to be a bitch. I am actually going to be nice. Because I'm not sure that she would have ever done this to me if she realized it was going to not work. Who knows, maybe he will mention it to her and she'll be able to tell me what the hell happened that ran him off...

*le sigh*

Comments

[laney-1974.livejournal.com]

Crap! I'm so sorry to hear that. Guys suck, they really do. *hugs*

[azraelz-angel.livejournal.com]

It's okay, I should know better by now...

[kribby.livejournal.com]

Oh that is really odd. If I were deep into analyzing dating situations (and I am-- but I am trying to cut back-- I tend to make my friends ultra paranoid)... I would say perhaps... the fact that you were too available ran him off.

Now, I don't really believe this-- but I have heard it said that if a woman is ultra eager then the guy thinks they don't have many options and they are not interested in being an option... uh yeah... no chase or something like that.

What is likely true is that he has been using match.com or whatever dating site lots and has been dating lots of women and perhaps he had a conversation with one of them that made him realize that he was more interested in what he had developed with miss whomever than gambling with you.

You probably didn't do anything.

The timing was just wrong.

It isn't as if it is love-- he was likely on a search for an acceptable level of happiness and he likely thinks he may have found it with the woman that got there first.

Dating is really most times a freaking race.

All this tells me is... you probably should have paid the match .com (it's match.com, right) joining fee and got in line earlier!

But with all that said-- I am really sorry it didn't work out... and if you are really interested in the online dating scene-- you should try plentyoffish.com It is a free site. Quite a few of my friends have used it successfully.

I think we are the same general age range and general location (me=Baltimore, MD) (I'm 28--- most of my friends are 24-32ish) so I am sure you will have some luck.


Best Wishes-- and please don't dwell on it.

[azraelz-angel.livejournal.com]

You know, I just don't understand that whole thing. I don't understand why guys have to wait 2/3/4 days to call. If someone is interested shouldn't they just cut the bullshit and just be interested? And why should one have to be coy and pretend they are busy to attract a man's attention? I don't lie. I hate people that are coy. And perhaps that is one of my flaws, but whatever, if you can't be honest with yourself then you've got nothing.

And I know you don't have the answers, no one will ever have the answers, but the whole thing is just freaking annoying.

I am honestly not all that upset that he decided to no longer see me. Whatever, it was one date.

The kick in the teeth was that he did the whole "I don't want to see you" thing over a fucking text message. I don't want to date, or be friends with, a guy that doesn't have the balls to call up a person and tell them that. Texting and emailing is the result a lack of balls.

[kribby.livejournal.com]

You are right. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone that doesn't have guts enough to end it over the phone.

I agree with you about the coy stuff-- BUT wouldn't you agree that when you have lots going on in your life... when you are busy and doing stuff in different areas you appear more attractive to the opposite sex.

You know... you are more visible in the world and all that... more options and etc.

Of course the thing with being coy and pretending you aren't eager to go out with the guy is at the base the girl is likely just sitting at home all alone wishing they hadn't been coy and instead had accepted the date.

I honestly think the trick to living and dating and being happy is having a life and being open to finding someone that will accent your life not be your life.

My guy friends are very afraid of women that readily accept dates with them or appear to have nothing to do if they call last minute.

After you have been around the bush for a while... and dated some... one fear that develops is the fear that a new person you are dating (future girlfriend) is going to expect you to be around all the time... and do everything with her--

At least this is what my guy friends say.

So the idea in my inconsistent guy friends heads is that being coy-- being a bit reticent... holding back gives them the impression that you have lots going on in your life and you are not going to be a girlfriend that ... crowds them. I guess that hearkens back to the supposed manly fear of commitment.

[kaylashay81]

*hugs*

*hunts down 'the boy' and... and... thinks of something worthy of team hellfire to do to him*

[azraelz-angel.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* Thanks. I'm not so heartbroken, just more annoyed at the method of dismissal.

My brother wanted to send him, via text message, and a video of an asshole, gaping and winking and such, with the words "pucker up" flashing across the screen. I thought that might be a bit much.

[luvsabitch.livejournal.com]

I just got dumped by text too, and in almost exactly the same words! Why do they think we would want to be friends with them after they have been such twats! (((Hugs)))

[azraelz-angel.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* That blows. Seriously, via text message? Now, I will admit I have told people to fuck off over a text before but that was because they were texting the shit out of me and we had no relationship whatsoever...

I had no history with this guy whatsoever. Seriously, he found me, we went out on one date, and that was it. I have absolutely no desire to be friends with a guy after that. I think it's kinda stupid for him to even mention it. I guess he must have made himself feel better by offering.

[avamclean.livejournal.com]

The text dis is childish and proves he’s inept at dating. Though you never know that until you start hanging out with someone—which of course blows. The bit about calling and setting up to meet for this Saturday is a little perplexing. Did he shoot himself while hunting in his secret no, no touch spot and therefore anything fun or uplifting couldn’t happen between you two? *smirks* I like to look at the most positive possibilities to any given situation.

Your response was polite but firm and while a lot nicer than I would have been it worked for your situation. *hugs* And yep, dating does suck most of the time but the fun times more than make up for them eventually. You just have to work your way through the idiots to get to the good ones. When pondering dating I always think of Cher in Clueless (yes, that Cher) and when they says she’s picky about what goes on her feet and therefore she’d be extremely picking about what goes in her. *winks* So I say we look on the bright side that at least you didn’t waste anymore time on this particular moron.

[azraelz-angel.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it stunk to be rejected, but I'm over that. The text thing was really the issue I had a problem with. That just proves that even 29 year olds are idiots!!

I can always imagine maim and pain for him, right? I'm not sure what the hell happened. It was rude to set up something for Saturday, and then cancel, but life is shit sometimes.

And I was very proud of my response. And actually, looking back at it, I'm still happy with it. I didn't run off at the mouth and act like a whiny brat, I acted mature and reasonable. What a freaking shock!

Ah, Clueless - that movie always makes me smile :)